Who “Are” I? Visual Narratives on the Subjectivity In-the-Making

• In Event: (Im)Possibilities of Alternative Representation of Reality, Memory, and Research in the Crisis of Representation

Abstract

Purpose
Curriculum inquiry struggles with the “crisis in representation,” which curriculum researchers can never represent realities and stories perfectly through inquiries and writings. As a researcher who is grappling with this tremendous crisis, I explore its (im)possibilities to link curriculum inquiry, research community, and visual representation in the crisis of representation. I ponder what it means to use visual representations as research data in the crisis of representation.

Theoretical Framework and Mode of Inquiry
My research is grounded in poststructuralist theories. Among the many aspects of these, I focus on the crisis of representation. Poststructural theorists challenge the Enlightenment norms that individuals, meanings, race, societies, and symbols exist “out there” and we can represent accurately of them through language, research, and writing (Lather, 2007).
I engage with Miller’s (2005) poststructuralist versions of autobiographical inquiry as both a research methodology and a literary genre. This approach is the ways of theorizing the subject’s life experiences and narratives within the socio-cultural, political, and economic milieu of space and time. Both as the researcher and the researched in this study, I, the autobiographical subject, use my transnational experiences and narratives as a way of exploring my subjectivity.

Data Sources
The drawings and visual representations of narratives are the major data sources. I have illuminated how my epistemology and ontology have been changed throughout my education, research experiences, and interactions with this narrative research community. My narratives begin from my childhood education to graduate education.

Point of View
I present diverse images that possibly represent my subjectivity within curriculum inquiry. Within these socio-cultural, political, and economical social norms, my subjectivity-in-the-making resides moment by moment to answer unanswerable question, “who are I” (Cixous, 1989)? My subjectivity is moving among various paradigms, space, and location, represents how my subjectivity, as the “effects,” not the cause of agency, is living in the moment to “challenge the ‘sweaty fight’ to develop highly situated responses (Miller, 2005, p. 242). “Who are I?” This identity question leads me to think about what it means by living in the world that is filled with “the incomplete stories and responses” (Miller, 2005, p. 242) as a researcher, teacher, and educator who is always situated with this community with/out consensus.

Scholarly Significance
This presentation contributes to explore the (im)possibilities of using visual representation as data in curriculum research in the crisis of representation. The link between narrative writing, visual representation, performance, and the interactions with other community members can introduce possible ways to represent “situated” social phenomena using creativity. This presentation opens up new possibilities to examine “unanswerable questions” to explore other dimensions of crisis of representations.

Author

• Seungho Moon, Oklahoma State University - Stillwater