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Drawing from queers of color epistemologies and joteria studies, the author develops a transnational mariposa consciousness to talk about his annual trips between his homeland and the U.S. Through his testimonios and dual identities as a queer of color in the U.S. and gay in Panama, the author uses different vignettes to decolonize how socio-historical ideologies (colonization and imperialism) such as homosexuality, masculinities, religion, family and a double standard society shape a gay identity in his Central American country.