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We report two empirical studies designed to gather first hand narratives from gender expansive children and their parents and teachers and trans* adults (reflecting back on their childhoods) about their experiences related to gender in early childhood programs (birth-age 5). Intersectionality, queer theory, and traditional child development theory inform data analysis and discussion of findings. Findings suggest that trans* children as young as toddlers have a strong sense of their gender identity and remember being misgendered by preschool teachers and families leaving feelings of shame patterns of hiding their gender from adults. ECE teachers reported having few if any resources available to learn about how to support trans* children. A framework is introduced for creating gender inclusive early childhood programs.