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This paper outlines methodological and theoretical work using autoethnography to study my experience of mother’s diagnosis of dementia. I faced how deeply “normal” matters and the high price of being unable to convince a helping system (nursing home) of her capacity. My background in special education caused me to recognize patterns and systems of care while DSE caused me to interrogate my experience through a critical lens. Parallels to the education of children with disabilities, similarities in the rationales and excuses between institutional settings for the elderly and self-contained special education are addressed. Being a “good” resident required the same passivity as being a “good” student, while insights on “presume competence” and other values revealed the need for interdisciplinary theorizing.