Reintroducing the Phoenix Within

• In Event: 66.086 - MTCC Roundtable Session 29
  In Roundtable Session: 66.086-3 - Hidden and Suppressed Narratives: A Feminist, Intersectional Look at Women's Experiences in Academia

Abstract

This paper draws from my own experiences, stories, and personal narratives to illustrate just how challenging life is within the academy. Employing Duncan-Andrade’s (2009) typologies of hope--hokey hope, mythical hope, and critical hope--these stories better explicate how hope moved, distorted, and evolved throughout my stay in higher education thus far.

Though such stories may initially seem benign, speaking our (as in people of Color, more precisely, women of Color) Truths is a bold move in the academy. Therefore, I do not share these stories without reservations. Indeed, it is with an element of fear of those in power, precisely because those folks are most fearful of being exposed of their bias, bigotry, and thirst for power, rather than to learn from them. And in their fear and abuse of power, they will do anything to silence our stories. These stories, then, are powerful and must be heard.

Duncan-Andrade’s (2009) typologies of hope provide a formidable framing for my experiences as a Brown-skinned Pinay working towards tenure in the ivory tower. Sadly, I acknowledge that my experiences are not so different from the many other women of color faculty and/or motherscholars in the academy. However, now as a tenured faculty member, it does not touch upon the inner peace I find now in the work I do and the hope I will forever hold despite it all. It is as if I am reborn, despite the fires of yesteryear. Suffice it to say that I have burned in the flames in the hellishness of the academy but instead of withering into ashes, I grew anew. Or metaphorically, I was reborn a phoenix of hope.

Reference

Duncan-Andrade, J.M.R. (2009). Note to educators: Hope required when growing roses in concrete. Harvard Educational Review, 79(2), 181-194.

Author

• Cheryl E. Matias, University of Colorado - Denver