Rehumanizing the Graduate Student Experience Through Critical Reflection and Restorative Self-Dialogue

• In Event: 63.074 - Hear Our Voices, Silent No Longer: Problematizing the Lived Experiences of Women of Color Entering Academia

Abstract

The purpose of this paper is to explore the journey and experiences of a former teacher and current graduate student of color. The paper is an autoethnography that deeply reflects on the author’s ability to overcome obstacles during the doctoral process by leaning on experiences as a high school teacher. The author engages in critical reflection and restorative self-dialogue to explore intergenerational trauma, resistance, and the cultural reproduction of trauma in academic spaces.

Testimonios and critical reflection are central to examine how a graduate student woman of color committed to racial justice leverages her unique and intersecting identities to endure and sustain herself in the midst of academia by intentionally reflecting on the author’s journey from a teacher and school administrator to a doctoral student in a minority serving institution.

Employing a critical auto-ethnographic (Quicke, 2010) approach, and critical race theory analysis (Ladson-Billings, 2005; Stovall, 2004), the author uses counter-narrative storytelling (Delgado, 1989), to explore how life experiences inform her doctoral journey.

The data collected includes the author’s class notebooks, conceptual chart papers, journal entries, and social media posts to assess socio-emotional well-being. All data was open coded followed by a narrative and document analysis.

The author describes how the funds of knowledge and cultural wealth (Yosso, 2005) gained from teaching and learning spaces become a source of formative knowledge, used to equip the author with the skills necessary to navigate academia. Counter-narratives illuminate answers to critical questions: “What do teachers learn from students? How do my teaching experiences inform my graduate student journey?”
“As a teacher I learned that wounded children tell the most truth. I remember preparing to correct an off-topic conversation when I realized students were discussing a young person’s funeral. There was a sort of unspoken conversation taking place; a foreign exchange, which I did not understand. I was privileged. I did not know death, loss, nor this type of sadness. My students may not have been fans of world history, yet they could recite their world story, the story of a lost soul in DC’s streets. What I did not know is this group of students would transform my life and strengthen my praxis and critical pedagogy (Ladson-Billings, 1998).”
The paper is significant for graduate students seeking validation, healing, and spiritual cleansing. The paper reminded the author of the power of critical reflection, testimonios, and self-dialogue; and that truly knowing self and committing to radical self-love (Darder, 2010), critical student-led professional development (Kohli, Picower, and Martinez, 2015), and culturally responsive self-care (Roberts, 2010) demonstrates an act of fierce love and resistance. The work of engaging in critical dialogue and reflecting on continued experiences as graduate students allows one to transform pain into passion and purpose.

Author

• Malayka Neith Cornejo, University of Nevada - Las Vegas