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This project explored how I as a person who prepared for an academic life but then was denied that experience sustain myself as I engage in becoming a scholar of education. Given the current climate in universities in the US and in teacher education specifically many young scholars do not find immediate employment as academics. Since they imagined themselves as academics and scholars, they now find themselves in liminal spaces where they seek to sustain themselves and enable their identity as a scholar to flourish. I explored what sustained me in my quest to be a scholar. I worked with a critical friend to explore my narratives of experience uncovering threads of continued scholarship, scholarly conversations, and interaction with children.