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In this paper we reflect on our experiences bringing decolonial and abolitionist critiques to our research and practice in higher education. Using a decolonial duoethnographic methodology we consider what we have learned from our situated experiences seeking to reimagine and remake relationships in higher education contexts. Specifically, we note three shared findings, including the importance of: 1) approaching this work with honesty, humility, and hyper-self-reflexivity; 2) engaging this work by building relationships rooted in trust, respect, reciprocity, accountability and consent; and 3) considering the role of social positionalities in this work. In doing so, we invite higher education scholars and practitioners to continue to deepen their engagement with these issues and their implications.