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To tell our truths, this collaborative autoethnography explores the stories of joy and pain of two international graduate students, South Korean and Indonesian, before, during, and after the COVID-19 outbreak in the U.S. Adopting the intersectionality lens, we interpreted our joys and pains to be intertwined. Through individual and collective reflection, preliminary themes from each timeframe are 1) before the pandemic, tensions existed with white faculty members in the graduate program; joy was found in family and home 2) during the pandemic, our fears proliferated beyond the program to public spaces; joy was brought by family and the younger generation, and 3) currently, we feel less pain and more empowerment in knowing the functioning of racism and our positions.