Traumatic Memories as Sites of Qualitative Inquiry and Healing

• In Event: Me-Search: Pursuing Race, Culture, and Gender in the Heart and Healing Work of Qualitative Inquiry

Abstract

Objectives/Purposes
Trauma is an all-encompassing experience that crushes the soul and impacts the perceptions of reality and people (Anzaldúa, 2015). Consequently, as wounded people, we often search for healing from our traumatic experiences because we yearn to be made whole again. As a site of me-search, my goal in this paper is to explore two personal traumatic memories involving patriarchal and racial violence as mode of healing. I grapple with two questions in this study: what is the nature of our trauma and what do we do with our traumatic memories? I believe responding to these two questions could be essential for enhancing our collective work focused on healing. Although the literature on trauma has helped formulate some programmatic interventions for supporting trauma-exposed people (Rodger et al., 2019; Thomas et al., 2019; Yohannan & Carlson, 2019), trauma intervention programs and approaches must consider individuals and their social contexts. In fact, trauma, for many marginalized people, can be connected to colonial abuses, such as racism, sexism, or ableism (Author, XXXX). This means that our approaches to addressing trauma must be generated outside of oppressive, colonial contexts.

Perspective/Theoretical Framework
I turn to testimonio, which is a first-person account used to denounce violence and, through a metaphorical witnessing, capture real life experiences (Urrieta et al., 2015; Vega, 2008). Testimonios can engage others to better understand solidarity and social change (Delgado Bernal et al., 2012). The second reason I turn to testimonio to answer my overarching questions is that this method can be useful as a healing tool (Huber, 2009). Additionally, I use the holistic trauma framework, which can be useful for exploring experiences with racism and sexism. The framework focuses on multiple knowledges and approaches to healing that are organic and comprehensive (Author, XXXX).

Methods
Qualitative modes of inquiry can provide opportunities to both theorize about trauma and promote healing (Hargons et al., 2021; Masko, 2005; Ohito, 2021). I used a modified approach for analysis in testimonio research (Huber, 2009) because this study was autobiographical. I draw on interviews and direct messages with bystander witnesses to my traumatic experiences to re-story new evidence (Nasheeda et al., 2019) into my incomplete memories.

Results and Scholarly Significance
From my findings, I present trauma testimonios, which are autobiographical accounts that use external witness observations and function as tools to help us understand the nature of our trauma and how we might move closer to healing from patriarchal and racialized forms of violence. Through our 2024 conference theme, we are called to think deeply about our lived experiences as drivers for the work we do. Moreover, we are encouraged not just to call out systems of injustice but also to generate knowledge about how we can learn and transcend oppressive ways of knowing and being.

Author

• Adam J. Alvarez, Texas A&M University