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This self-study aims to contribute to the literature and understanding about the tensions, complexities, paradoxes, and possibilities of designing decolonial, anti-racist futures in higher education, with a focus on decolonizing English composition studies in the U.S. Leaning into her own lived experiences as a woman, immigrant, early-career instructor, and person of color from a Global South nation, working and teaching in a U.S. university, the researcher uses self-study to contribute to an under-theorized area in higher education: decolonizing freshman-level English courses, syllabi, and teacher selves. The researcher critically engages with her pedagogic practices, behaviors, and habits, as well as the theoretical underpinnings and conceptual frameworks that shape her thinking/being, to probe the possibilities of disrupting whiteness in her classrooms.