Nightmares and Rebirths: Feeling Your Way Out of the PK-12 Classroom as a Doctoral Student

• In Event: AERA Roundtable Session Saturday 1:30 pm Four Seasons Ballroom 1
  In Roundtable Session: Enacting Curriculum Praxis in Varied Spaces (Table 10)

Abstract

In this study, we use interviews, focus groups, and visual research methodologies (Manley & Roy, 2017) to explore the feelings of doctoral students in education as they leave the classroom to join full-time programs. Using a psychoanalytic lens (Britzman, 1998) we explore how this period emotionally impacts our participants as a period of repeated encounters with “difficult knowledge,” disrupting their teacher visions (Hammerness, 2003). To explore the complex feelings that come up during this period, we highlight three prominent themes: time and structure, identity, and the ‘itch’ to teach. We conclude by proposing curricular considerations, pushing the field to more intentionally consider how students’ past selves continue to impact their researcher roles.

Authors

• Dorsa Ivana Fahami, Teachers College, Columbia University

• Adrienne Vitullo, Teachers College, Columbia University

• Dani Friedrich, Teachers College, Columbia University