Re-Igniting Ánimo: Autohistoria-Teoría of a Queer Educator's Journey through ITOC

• In Event: Institute for Teachers of Color Committed to Racial Justice: Purposeful Counterspace to Heal and Grow

Abstract

The Purpose of Re-Igniting Ánimo
This autohistoria-teoría documents my experience as a neurodivergent queer Chicanx PhD student and feminist studies professor in Texas. It emphasizes the life-affirming impact of attending the Institute for Teachers of Color Committed to Racial Justice (ITOC) conference, exploring how the event reignited my ánimo (spirit) and affirmed my commitment to cultivating warming spaces within the multicultural neoliberal academy. ITOC serves as a vital counterspace for educators of color to share vulnerabilities and harness creative-intellectual energy.
Decolonial Feminist Theory
This work is anchored in decolonial queer feminist epistemologies, drawing from Gloria Anzaldúa (1987, 2015), Audre Lorde (1984), and bell hooks (1994). It evokes the work of literary ancestors who emphasize the importance of sharing our whole selves—emotional, spiritual, and intellectual. This sharing cultivates political intimacy and solidarity to resist all forms of oppression.
Autohistoria-Teoría
Gloria Anzaldúa's method of creative spiritual inquiry, autohistoria-teoría, uses storytelling through art and self-writing to develop emerging and embodied theory. Andrea Pitts describes it as "collaborative, sensuously embodied, and productive of critical self-reflection" (2016, p.360). Anzaldúa argues that nepantla (liminal space) involves navigating ‘the cracks’ of competing systems, urging us to rethink safety, home, and belonging.
I use mixed-genre storytelling—self-writing, art, poetry, digital collages, zines, and social media archives—to map my queer educator conocimiento. As an underpaid teaching fellow and dissertating student, I creatively hustled by selling my zines and art to travel from San Antonio, TX, to Riverside, CA, documenting my resourcefulness and reliance on creative ancestors and digital mutual aid. Data collection includes journaling, reflective essays, conference notes, and photo narratives before, during, and after ITOC, capturing the conference's transformative impact.
Conclusion
The conference ignited a collective fire, allowing us to reflect on the challenges and joys of teaching in hostile, spirit-murdering educational spaces. We exchanged pedagogical strategies for resisting oppression and empowering students through embodied learning. Additionally, ITOC enabled us to form educator femmetorship groups to reignite our inner fire for the transformative work of building conocimiento (deep awareness).
Autohistoria-teoría highlights the transformative impact of the ITOC conference on educators teaching from the margins. Through autohistoria-teoría, I delve into emerging and embodied theory that ignited our collective healing and transformation. Key themes encompass healing, affirming intersecting identities, promoting racial, queer, and disability literacy, fostering a supportive learning environment, and prioritizing collective care. The ITOC conference equipped us with strategies, pedagogical tools, and resources for engaging in embodied and reciprocal learning.
Significance
This study underscores the importance of counterspaces for educators of color, especially those with intersecting marginalized identities. It demonstrates the transformative impact of conferences like ITOC in promoting racial, queer, and disability justice within educational settings. By documenting and analyzing our experiences, this work offers valuable insights for policymakers, educators, and scholars dedicated to creating inclusive and equitable educational spaces. It advocates for environments where collective healing promotes resilience and prevents educators from experiencing institutional pushout and burnout.

Author

• Olga Estrada, University of Texas - San Antonio