Embracing “Queer”: A Confession #thanksLance

• In Event: Celebrating 15 Years of "Making Space": Reflections and New Trajectories of Race, Sexuality, and Justice in Education

Abstract

Those of us who stand outside the circle of this society's definition of acceptable women; those of us who have been forged in the crucibles of difference -- those of us who are poor, who are lesbians, who are Black, who are older -- know that survival is not an academic skill. It is learning how to stand alone, unpopular and sometimes reviled, and how to make common cause with those others identified as outside the structures in order to define and seek a world in which we can all flourish. (Lorde, 1984, p. 112)

I embrace the fact that I am one who stands outside of the circle of acceptable women because I hold these identities: Black, Lesbian, Soft Stud (masculine-of-center), Reverend. I also embrace that I, however, sometimes stand inside of the circle because of other parts of my identity: upper middle class, degreed, Full Professor, author, sorority girl, former debutante. These ‘axes of identity,’ public and private, create the intersections of my selfhood and give me a particular set of truths that are not checked at any door, particularly the door of academia in my leadership position and as a professor in the courses that I teach (Alston, 2012). I refuse to not be authentic. Brown (2010) noted that “authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It's about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen” (p. 49). I consciously choose to be authentic both inside and outside of the academy. I consciously choose to show up in the world just as I am. One word that I have never really used in my identity is “queer.” As a child born in the 60's grew up in the 70s and 80s, the word “queer” was offensive to me. It fell in line with the other pejorative names for a person like me – a girl who liked girls.However, I learned not only to accept the word “queer” but also embrace and begin to add it to my axes of identity. This acceptance came through not only reading and using the work of Dr. Lance T. McCready but also in my relationship with him over the years. So, these are my confessions about growing into my queerness not only in my life, but in my life as an academic.

Author

• Judy A. Alston, Miami University (OH)