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Academic staff are routinely expected to write reference letters for undergraduate students applying to Master’s programmes, yet little is known about how they navigate this emotionally demanding and institutionally under-supported task. Drawing on qualitative interviews with UK-based academics and incorporating autoethnographic reflection, this study explores how staff decide whether to write, what to include, and how institutional templates, ethical concerns, and workload pressures shape their writing practices. Findings highlight the emotional labour embedded in reference writing and the tensions between care, equity, and institutional gatekeeping. This research contributes to growing conversations about academic labour and equity in higher education, calling for greater institutional recognition and reform of recommendation letter practices.