Ancestral Memories: Lug Ntsuag as a Methodology of Healing

• In Event: Reclaiming Selves, Histories, Language, and Culture Through Relational Processes of (Re)membering

Abstract

“When humans give breath to life, give voice to their perception of life, this is a sacred act” (Maracle, 2015).

The act of remembering is an act of political resistance. Memories are not about inheriting past stories. It is about creating a world beyond our imagination; beyond our Ancestral memories. Memories are imagined. What we choose to remember is never accidental. I remember my arranged marriage, which spans through four generations that came before me. I remember I am the product of an arranged marriage. Not only do my ears listen, my body hears and feels the pain through the creation of my daughter, who is a product of my arranged marriage. My daughter, who inherited generational violence against women, is empowered to create a world in which she can dismantle this deep rooted patriarchal system that I am guilty for upholding. I remember that I am a woman. I remember that I am a mother. I remember that I create, this is my sacred act. I remember Puj ua tseg. I am a healer because I hold four generations of women who came before me. I am a healer because I stepped out of this lineage. Anzaldúa (2015) refers to nepantleras as not fully belonging to any single location, yet the willingness to remain with/in the thresholds. In other words, spaces where thresholds intersect are possibilities of imagined memories.

This presentation is not based on scholarly re-search (Dillard, 2011). This is an inquiry into my lived experience. This is my memory of shared knowledges that came before me. Therefore, it is my responsibility to recall these memories, to hold space so that women understand their power to remember. Dillard (2011), suggests that memory is about an awakening, an opening that has been asleep within us. With this, I am learning to practice lug ntsuag (storytelling) in the most informal way. Not only is this an act of political resistance, it is an act that does not require HMoob youth to “be literate” in our HMoob written/oral language. Listening to lug ntsuag was something all children engaged with. These moments are spaces of teaching and learning (teacher-student). Lug ntsuag came to me from my Elders, especially my Puj; I never met her but her sister lived to tell me about her. These are inside of us by tracing our Ancestral memories. We can awaken our spirits which have been broken by our communities, by these larger institutions of sexism, racism, heteropatriarchy, ablelism.

Lug ntsuag, as storytelling, is not often seen as a formal “teaching - learning” space. These are often initiated by Pujs, Tais, and Nams. Thus, women are central figures in this storytelling practice. Unlike most HMoob “traditional” and “cultural” practices which are mostly dictated by men, lug ntsuag can also function as passing down traditional/cultural practices. HMoob women can create these spaces whether it be in their homes, communities, through conversations. HMoob women can reclaim these teaching and learning moments for our collective transformation.

Author

• Karen Vang, University of California - Davis