Distinction Reconfigured: Habitual Privilege, Cultural Capital, and the Performance of Middle-Class Parenting in Germany

• In Event: Intensive Parenting Across Cultures: Global Varieties in Mobilizing Cultural Capital

Abstract

Over recent decades, debates on intensive and competitive parenting among the middle and upper-middle classes have shaped prevailing ideals of a ‘good childhood’ in market societies of the northern hemisphere (Faircloth, 2014), with different emphases emerging in the Global South (Ayling, 2019; Gu, 2021). In Germany, dominant discourses encourage early institutional childcare and parental investment in children’s development and talents (Betz, 2012; Walper & Kreyenfeld, 2022), even as concerns grow regarding parental stress and the psychological costs of ambitious child-rearing approaches (Ashton-James, Kushlev, & Dunn 2013; Lee & Macvarish, 2020). Recently, attention has shifted toward young adults’ aspirations for work-life balance, self-fulfillment, and meaningful work.
This paper explores how affluent Millennial parents in Germany negotiate child-rearing practices amid widening social divides and the rising cultural valorization of autonomy and well-being. We ask whether middle-class parenting is moving away from Lareau’s (2011) model of ‘concerted cultivation’ to a more relaxed blend of child-centeredness and respect for children’s freedom of choice, within an increasingly complex society.
Our qualitative interview study (N = 39) analyzes the decision-making, values, and educational goals of upper- and middle-class parents with children aged 3–25, drawing from interviews conducted in Germany in 2023. Inductive coding of interview data with academically educated, affluent parents reveals an aspiration to cultivate children’s individuality, unique talents, and broad educational experiences, often through extracurricular engagement. In contrast to the relentless scheduling seen in ‘concerted cultivation,’ parents emphasize support and advice, promote children’s self-exploration, and downplay pressure—sometimes articulating an ethos of stress-free privilege: choices are abundant and, notably, reversible.
Yet, beneath the relaxed attitude, enrollment in the Gymnasium (academic school track) remains a taken-for-granted trajectory, securing continued privilege. This emerging German model contrasts sharply with the outcome-driven orientation of elite parenting in China (Gu, 2021) and reframes familiar class logics.
Grounded in Bourdieu’s theory of cultural capital (Bourdieu, 1983, 1986), we interpret these practices as novel forms of habitus adaptation and social reproduction, in which embodied and institutionalized capitals are subtly transmitted through everyday routines and educational choices. To enrich this Bourdieusian analysis, a Goffmanian (Goffman, 1959) perspective positions parental performances of “ease” and “laissez-faire” as forms of front-stage impression management, where projects of child-rearing, leisure, and apparent ‘naturalness’ function as status displays and boundary work within the middle class. Nelson (2010) argues that these performances reflect class-specific anxieties and strategies of control amid uncertainty, reinforcing social distinction even as they appear relaxed on the surface. For example, the aforementioned ethos of stress-free privilege—where life is framed as full of reversible choices—can be interpreted not just as genuine ease, but as a carefully managed performance that signals status and competence (Goffman, 1959; Nelson, 2010).
These findings challenge simplistic dichotomies between intensive and laissez-faire parenting. By analyzing the interplay between class resources, educational practices, and the social presentation of parenting, this study demonstrates how new forms of distinction and belonging are negotiated in contemporary Germany (Faircloth, 2014; Betz, 2012; Walper & Kreyenfeld, 2022; Ashton-James et al., 2013; Lareau, 2011; Gu, 2021).

Authors

• Frederick de Moll, Bielefeld University

• Janice Aurini, University of Waterloo