The Fire This Time: Surviving and Thriving as a Black Man in the Crosshairs of the Academy

• In Event: Brothers in the Academy: Critical Dialogues on Black Maleness, Masculinity, and Manhood in Education

Abstract

In this manuscript, I expound on my personal experiences concerning what was required and demanded as a Black man to survive and thrive as a higher-education graduate student. By drawing from a combination of critical Black theoretical frameworks, specifically, Yancy’s (2016) concept of “Black resistance” and Curry’s (2017) formulation of “The Man-Not,” I offer a deep personal and analytic account of how I, a Black man, persevered through the gendered and racialized politics of higher education while simultaneously carving out spaces to thrive as a researcher and scholar. Grounded in a five-year critical autoethnography, this critical narrative traces my evolving identity and resilience as I navigated through three distinct academic environments: first, as an EdD student at a liberal university in the Northeast, then as a PhD student at the same institution and ultimately, as a PhD student and candidate at a conservative university in the Southeast. Each academic context presented different iterations of support, surveillance, and struggle.

Notably, in The Fire Next Time, Baldwin (1990) asserts that “…what they believe, as well as what they do and cause you to endure, does not testify to your inferiority but to their inhumanity” (p. 8). Thus, by employing a critical autoethnography, I combined existing theory with my personal and cultural experiences to construct a “living body of thought” (Pollack, 2006; see Holman Jones, 2016) to combat the “epidermalisation of social inferiority” (see Marriott, 2000) and separate from the Black imago.I confront the weight of racism, impostor syndrome, antiBlack misandry, and the psychic toll of navigating institutions where Black maleness/manhood is simultaneously invisible, hypervisible, and devalued (Gordon, 1997; Matlon, 2019).

This manuscript aims to contribute scholarship that celebrates Black life and advances new narratives that challenge dominant discourses concerning Black men and males (Brown & Donnor, 2013; Thomas et al., 2024). It extends the conversation and adds to “Resilience in the Crossfire” by offering a layered exploration of what it means for Black men to “thrive”—framed through the liberatory possibilities embedded in resilience, friendship, and mentorship. Essential to this discussion is Black male friendship, which I conceptualize as a “fugitive kinship,” and emerged as a powerful form of resistance that provided emotional safety and intellectual stimulation beyond the institution. Additionally, mentorship from scholars and community elders alike offered academic guidance and intergenerational wisdom, reminding me that I am part of a lineage of dreamers that have and continue to thrive in the academy.

In response to my experiences as a Black man in higher education whose reality has historically been refused by dominant theories (Curry, 2017), I conclude the manuscript with actionable recommendations to reconceptualize higher education as a space where Black men can dream, thrive, and freely express themselves to cultivate community and success. In a time of escalating political attacks on racial justice and equity work, particularly in higher education, this chapter offers a reflection on what is required for Black men to not just exist, but to thrive and innovate as researchers, educators, and leaders

Author

• Christopher E. Darby, ARE-LO Strategies