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This study examines gender disparities in psychological and academic outcomes linked to webcam policies during COVID-19 remote learning. Using structural equation modeling with 1,812 students across 65 classrooms, we tested two- and three-way interactions among individual webcam use, classroom webcam norms (low, moderate/mixed, universal), and gender predicting depressive symptoms, engagement, and achievement. Girls’ frequent webcam use in universal-on classrooms predicted higher depressive symptoms, whereas boys showed reduced symptoms. Girls’ engagement was higher when keeping webcams on in moderate/mixed classrooms that allowed webcam agency; boys’ engagement benefited from universal-on environments. A “Goldilocks effect” emerged: classrooms supporting webcam autonomy optimized girls’ academic outcomes without disproportionate emotional costs. Findings inform K–12 policy, showing moderate webcam policies produce more equitable virtual learning than universal mandates.