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International Chinese doctoral students face a contemporary challenge in American academia, heightened by socio-political attacks. However, existing scholarship has primarily explored the academic identity of this group through sociocultural lenses which often create barriers to the investigation of participants’ nuanced emotional states.This study employed embodied arts-based practices along with poetic inquiry to explore how an international Chinese student’s emotional dissonance shed light on their academic identity. It not only addresses the inconsistent methodological and theoretical perspectives of previous identity research but also advocates for re-humanizing academia by highlighting the experiences of international doctoral students in the U.S.