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This paper examines how violence operates as both a tool and a constraint in processes of democratic erosion, with particular attention to gendered and sexualized forms of repression in contemporary African contexts. It argues that authoritarian and illiberal actors increasingly rely on *everyday violence*—including police harassment, moral panics, and the selective criminalization of gender- and sexuality-based identities—to narrow civic space while maintaining a façade of democratic legality. Drawing on feminist security theory and critical conflict process scholarship, the paper conceptualizes violence not only as episodic or spectacular but as routinized, intimate, and socially embedded—shaping who can safely participate in democratic life and on what terms. Methodologically, the study combines comparative qualitative analysis of protest episodes and state responses with secondary data on repression and democratic backsliding. The analysis shows, first, how polarization around “traditional values” creates fertile ground for violent mobilization and legitimizes coercion against marginalized groups; second, how popular movements adapt under violent repression by shifting strategies, alliances, and repertoires of contention—sometimes successfully, sometimes at high social cost. Finally, the paper explores how the legacies of such violence complicate democratic rebuilding, entrenching fear, mistrust, and exclusion even after formal institutions are restored. By foregrounding gender and sexuality in conflict processes, the paper advances debates on democracy under threat—demonstrating that the erosion and reconstruction of democracy cannot be understood without sustained attention to the violence that structures everyday political life.