The Importance of Love in Sex and the Importance of Sex in Love (and Marriage)

• In Event: 512 - Section on Sex and Gender Roundtable Session (one-hour).
  In Refereed Roundtable: Table 13. Negotiating Relationships

Abstract

Girls and women in Western culture are socialized to see sex as an expression of love. Although girls and women feel sexual desire and enjoy the physical act of sexual activity, there is a strong cultural message connecting sex and love and chastising girls and women who have sex outside of committed relationships. In contemporary Western culture, we also expect love to be the foundation of marriage. Thus, in this paper my focus is to explore women’s feelings about the importance of love in sexual relationships and sexual activity, the importance of sex in marriage. I conducted in-depth interviews with a diverse group of ninety-five women, most of whom were heterosexual, between the ages of twenty and sixty-eight. As part of a larger study on the development of women’s sexuality and sexual agency, I asked women about the role of love in their sexual relationships and sexual activity, as well as the importance of sex in marriage. I find that most women associated love and sex and found sex more satisfying in relationships where they loved their partners.

Author

• Beth Montemurro, Pennsylvania State University-Abington