Yes, I Will Marry You: Socioeconomic Incentives in the Reproduction of the Traditional Engagement Proposal

• In Event: 240 - Section on Consumers and Consumption Roundtable Session (one-hour).
  In Paper Session: Table 04. Gendered Scripts and Rituals of Consumption

Abstract

The “stalled revolution” is an important theme in contemporary assessments of the successes and failures of the women’s movement. This concept signifies in part the inroads women have made into male-dominated social institutions while the norms of intimate, heterosexual relationships have changed very little. While women now occupy many positions of power, men still by and large initiate dating and sex. This paper addresses the reproduction of the traditional engagement ritual, where men propose marriage to women. The authors draw from thirty-five semi-structured interviews with women about their engagement proposals. They argue that three types of socioeconomic incentives encourage women to participate in these traditional rituals: 1) gifts, including the diamond engagement ring and leisure experiences, 2) social status associated with being chosen to marry, and 3) the proposal story itself as scrip for inclusion in women’s social groups. This perspective challenges research that focuses solely on a dramaturgical interpretation of the ritual, where it remains static in order to communicate to primary (the woman) and secondary (her family and friends) audiences that an engagement is real and serious.

Authors

• Patricia Arend, Fitchburg State University

• Katherine Comeau, Fitchburg State University