I’m Not Your Typical Military Wife: The Construction of Gender and Agency through Stereotypes

• In Event: 464 - Regular Session. Gender

Abstract

Military spouses face unique demands on their marriages, families and lives as compared to their civilian counterparts. Generally, the spouse and the family come second to the requirements of the military, yet women are considered an extension of their husbands and as such, play a significant albeit secondary role in this institution. Within the microcosm of the military community there are a few dominate stereotypes of the military spouse. On one extreme, you have the wife who is completely wrapped up in her husband’s rank and ‘bleed red, white and blue’. On the other extreme you have what has been coined as the ‘Dependapotamus,’ the lazy wife who is a drain on everyone’s resources. Stemming from a larger project on military spouses who have been surrogate mothers for other people, I find the women I interviewed made a point to distance themselves from the perceived stigma associated with spouses, with many claiming that they are not like the “typical” military wife. Based on interviews with thirty-three military spouses patterns emerged where respondents engaged in defensive othering, symbolic boundary formation and gender work. These mechanisms were employed by women when navigating and performing their military spouse role. This particular case study of military spouses shows how stereotyping persists as a form of gendered policing well into adulthood. Additionally, through analyzing how these stereotypes are perpetuated and used in both a pejorative and referential manner, we can better understand how women exercise agency while subordinate figures in this particular institution.

Author

• Elizabeth Ziff, New School for Social Research