The Stepmother Role: Navigating Role Ambiguity and the Cultural Standard of Intensive Motherhood

• In Event: 136 - Open Refereed Roundtable Session
  In Refereed Roundtable 100min: Table 01. Family Relationships

Abstract

‘Motherhood’ is a widely explored topic by scholars. While we know a great deal about the lived experiences, both cultural and structural, of ‘mothers’ at large, we know less about how stepmothers experience motherhood and how, if at all, culturally constructed tenants of motherhood apply to stepmothers’ roles and experiences. My research uses in-depth interviews, observation, and content analysis of cultural materials to record and analyze the lived experiences of women as they navigate stepmotherhood to uncover whether or not women in the stepmother role ascribe to a dominant model of stepmothering. Through the interviews I’ve found that the ‘ideal’ stepmother role is understood by women in the context of existing cultural ideologies about motherhood, childrearing, and gender in our society. The interviews with stepmothers reveal that these women are conflicted in their understanding of ‘what good stepmothers do’ in terms of the extent to which they should be actively involved in raising their stepchildren. In turn, the stepmother role is characterized by significant role ambiguity. Stepmothers use a variety of strategies to navigate the ambiguity of this role. Most notably, they maintain what they believe is an appropriate, and even necessary, distance from directly mothering their stepchildren and, when they are involved with childrearing, one strategy they use is what I term “deficit validation” to justify doing so. Overall, these findings contribute to a more nuanced understanding of gender inequalities in the family and society.

Author

• Melissa D. Day, University of New Hampshire