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Queering the Family: Gay Fathers and Their Children’s Experiences Negotiating Heteronormativity

Sat, August 11, 2:30 to 4:10pm, Philadelphia Marriott Downtown, Floor: Level 4, Franklin Hall 3

Abstract

Gay fathers and their children enter a world where women are viewed as the primary caregivers and parenting is viewed as “natural” to them (Gianino, 2008; Edwards, 2007; Doucet, 2006a, b). They must navigate a heteronormative society where the idealized “Standard North American Family” or SNAF still dominates social and political life (Ryan & Berkowitz, 2009). Gay fathers’ family type is one that stands out and challenges the culturally dominant SNAF. This paper analyzes how gay fathers and their children respond to and live in a world where their family form is often viewed as inferior. Fathers first response was using books, film, and television shows to introduce their children to the numerous forms that families can take outside of the SNAF model. By teaching their children that families fall outside of the SNAF model they are “queering” or acting and thinking in ways that resist dominant heteronormative ideology by confronting binaries that surround family (biological versus “pseudo”) (Oswald, Blume, & Marks, 2005). When broached with questions from friends and the public because their family fell outside of the heteronormative SNAF model, fathers and their children answered these questions directly and honestly. The open and honest way that fathers and children addressed their questioners would fall into the category of “queering” the family because they are challenging these individuals’ heteronormative conceptions of what family forms are acceptable. Finally, failing to conform to the SNAF family model and challenging heteronormative norms surrounding family opened gay fathers up to interactions with the public. When these interactions were negative, fathers confronted the instigators and made it clear who made up their family and that this form was valid. These confrontations fall into the category of “queering” the family because fathers are challenging these instigators heteronormative conceptions of what family forms are acceptable.

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