Do Kids Know Who Mom Wants? Accuracy of Adult Children’s Perceptions of Mothers’ Caregiver Preferences

• In Event: 3422 - Section on Aging and Life Course Refereed Roundtable Session
  In Refereed Roundtable 100min: Table 01. Caregiving

Abstract

Recent research has shown that most older mothers have strong preferences regarding which of their offspring serve as their future caregivers, and that violation of these preferences has consequences for mothers’ psychological well-being. However, there has been no study of whether adult children are aware that their mothers hold such preferences. In this paper, we use data collected from 667 adult children and their mothers to compare older mothers’ stated preferences for particular caregivers with their adult children’s perceptions of their mothers’ preferences. Adult children were found to be poor reporters of their mothers’ preferences; only 44.6% accurately reported their mothers’ preferences. Drawing from theories of interpersonal relations and intergenerational solidarity, we hypothesized that children’s accuracy would be predicted by: a) Similarity between mothers and children; b) children’s competing roles; c) relationship quality; and d) history of support and interaction. Of these factors, congruence was predicted only by mothers’ reports of shared values about filial piety and emotional closeness, and children’s parental status, poor health, and residential proximity. Most surprising, neither serving as primary or secondary caregivers to mothers for recent health events improved children’s accuracy. Given the potential consequences for mothers of violating their caregiver preferences, the level of inaccuracy found among adult children may have important implications for optimal care when older women face serious health events. The findings also call into question how accurately adult children perceive mothers’ favoritism and disfavoritism more generally, despite the important role of these perceptions in children’s own psychological well-being.

Authors

• J. Jill Suitor, Purdue University

• Megan Gilligan, Iowa State University

• Siyun Peng, Purdue University

• Marissa Rurka, Purdue University

• Jordan Anthony Meyer, Purdue University

• Karl Pillemer, Cornell University