Ghosting: The Expiry Culture of 2010s American Courtship

• In Event: 3551 - Section on Sociology of Culture Refereed Roundtables
  In Refereed Roundtable 100min: 12. Intimate Ties

Abstract

Since Bogle's pioneering description of a “hookup culture,” Millennial courtship is widely recognized as unique. Previously decried for lacking intimacy or learning about others, this paper updates Bogle a decade later. Using survey data, written statements and qualitative discussions, this paper finds new behavior and an original culture in today's undergraduate students. Bogle remains correct that hooking up continues with no “dates” involving dinner and a movie. But new to 2010s courtship is “talking to someone” through phone-based media messaging which precedes any meeting in person. My findings correct the picture by showing that Millennials possess rules about the seriousness of relationships, how they are ended, and how to deal with their consequences. A duration rule applies that raises hookups, which are not “serious relationships,” into ones that are within six months. I find a well understood culture of courtship exists, evident in its most controversial feature, “ghosting” – breaking up by a sudden and unexplained cessation of messaging. Widely understood by both sexes, it remains controversial. To end some “talk” partnerships, singles find ghosting necessary but they recognize that it is hurtful to the ghosted person. The on-going talk about ghosting, reveals a sophisticated culture. This culture and behavior constrain people in a way that is structural. Youth courtship patterns disappear suddenly, so seizing the opportunity to study Millennials can correct a false impression about a whole cohort. For sociologists, romantic dyading in youth may be a window into how the next generation creates culture and brings about social change.

Author

• John Christopher Holley, Suffolk University