Masculinity and the Tuxedo Wedding: Comparing Wedding Planning for Men in Same-Sex and Straight Marriages

• In Event: 4107 - Masculinities II

Abstract

Heteronormative gender norms constrain heterosexual men’s role in wedding planning and labor to do little more than sporting a tuxedo. In contrast, men who plan a same-sex wedding must negotiate the division of labor between them. How is masculinity constructed in the context of wedding planning for heterosexual and non-heterosexual men? To answer this question, we draw on in-depth interviews with 23 men who participated in same-sex weddings and 23 men who participated in straight weddings. We find that negotiating the tuxedo wedding is a complex process shaped by men’s social location and gender ideologies. Confirming previous research on straight couples, we find that heterosexual men generally rely on the bride to do emotional kinship labor and organize the big day. Their explanations for why they participate in wedding rituals draw on hegemonic masculinity as aloof to wedding rituals that are for “women.” For men in same-sex relationships, we find that they also participate in dominant wedding rituals, but their reasoning is more thoughtful and nuanced, demonstrating a rejection of the hegemonic ideal of uninvolved masculinity.

Authors

• Melanie Heath, McMaster University

• Jessica Braimoh, McMaster University