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The emergence of a large state apparatus to respond to domestic violence represents a major development in recent American political history. In the time span of the last 60 years, the state response to domestic violence has gone from almost non-existent to relying on a large network of state and non-state actors and millions of dollars in yearly federal budget. However, accurately identifying situations of domestic abuse remains a challenging task. How do the difficulties involved in identifying domestic violence impact the work of those who intervene with perpetrators? I answer this question through an ethnography of Partner Abuse Intervention Programs (PAIPs), a central component of the state’s preventive efforts. I show that defining contests over what constitutes domestic violence impede the state’s ability to implement effective prevention strategies.