Men's Gender Labor and the Production of Femininity: The Work of Gender Complementarity in Romantic Relationships

• In Event: 30611 - Regular Session on Gender: Femininities and Masculinities

Abstract

Gender labor is the emotional, physical, and sexual caretaking efforts aimed at supporting the gender subjectivity of a partner in the context of intimate relationships. Like other forms of family labor this work has consistently been theorized as something women do for men. Yet, all people require gender labor. Given that gender is relational, the production of femininity also requires certain labors of masculinity. But because research on gender labor focuses almost exclusively on the work performed by feminine partners in service of masculine partners, the gender labor men may undertake in support of women's gender projects remains overlooked.
This research draws on in-depth interviews with 31 heterosexual men to understand the labor they undertake to support and validate the femininity of their partners and with what impact to their own gender projects. As I show, men feel certain expectations to perform gender labor for women partners. These expectations reflect normative understandings of what it means to do masculinity in the context of a romantic relationship, meaning that men’s gender labor in support of women’s femininity also affirms their own gender as well. While this labor can net positive outcomes as both partners feel validated in the context of this work, it also upholds gender complementarity within heterosexual relationships. As a result, women can weaponize these expectations for gender complementarity, making demands that can be hard to meet and emasculating men when they fail to do so. Thus, although masculinity is often theorized through the lens of domination of women, women play a role in enforcing complementary gender norms through their expectations for gender labor.

Author

• Ellen Lamont, Appalachian State University