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Despite substantial improvements in recent decades, women remain disadvantaged compared to men across a range of domains, including education, family, and the workplace. Much work has focused on efforts to address these persistent inequalities. But garnering support for policies and interventions that address inequalities at both the individual and structural level depend on a shared understanding on what constitutes gender inequality in the first place. However, there may be substantial variation in what people recognize as unequal and what type of inequality is deemed unfair. This paper examines variation in how men recognize and define gender inequality in their own lives, and the mechanisms that drive this variation. Drawing on analyses of 75 in-depth interviews with men in New York City, this paper examines the conditions under which men identify inequalities between men and women and deem these inequalities problematic. Specifically, I identify three mechanisms that shape men’s perceptions of inequality: 1) having different notions of what equality looks like 2) attributing inequality to women’s choices and 3) holding essentialist beliefs about men and women.