Different Shades of Gay: Identity and Relationship Trajectories in an Intergenerational Sample of Gay Men

• In Event: 50661 - Section on Sociology of Sexualities Roundtables
  In Refereed Roundtable (60 minute): Table 4: Social Contexts, Socio-Sexual Stories

Abstract

Background and purpose:
Public opinion on same-sex marriage has undergone a dramatic transformation in recent decades, shifting from marginal support to mainstream acceptance. Yet for earlier generations of gay individuals, marriage was far from a foregone conclusion. The meaning of the institution changed over time, as did the relationship between gay identity and broader mainstream society. This study examines how the meaning of gay identity has evolved and how these shifting meanings have shaped the types of relationships that gay men from different generations envision for themselves.

Method:
This study draws on 40 in-depth interviews with baby boomer and millennial gay men in San Francisco and the Bay Area.

Results:
Results show the diverging meanings of identity and relationship trajectories among these two groups. Baby boomers explored their identity in isolation from the dominant heterosexual society and perceived a long-term, fulfilling marriage with a man as unattainable. In contrast, millennial gay men explored their identity through in institutional settings that suggested at the possibility of acceptance by heterosexuals. Moreover, millennial men in the sample perceived marriage as a concrete and attainable possibility, even if they were not currently in a committed romantic relationship.

Conclusion:
These findings illustrate how broader societal attitudes about gay identity become embedded in individuals' self-perceptions and relationship choices. While the legalization of same-sex marriage has expanded opportunities for relationship recognition, it has also introduced new generational divides regarding the meaning and significance of marriage within the gay community. This study suggests that many young gay men still face subtle pressures to adhere to certain relationship models or behaviors to be fully accepted by their heterosexual peers. Understanding these generational differences provides valuable insight into how gay men navigate changing social expectations around identity and relationships in contemporary society.

Author

• Giora Ashkenazi, Stanford University