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This study examines how information and communication technology (ICT) demands influence nurses’ safety behavior through negative rumination, and how ego strength and age jointly shape this process. Drawing on the Job Demands–Resources (JD–R) framework, we explain how digital job demands undermine safety performance. A two-wave survey was conducted with 498 nurses from ten hospitals in China, separated by a three-week interval. Using structural equation modeling (Mplus 8.3) and 5,000 bootstrap samples, we tested a three-way moderated mediation model linking ICT demands, negative rumination, ego strength, and age. ICT demands increased negative rumination, which in turn reduced safety compliance and participation. The indirect effects varied by ego strength and age: they were stronger among younger nurses with low ego strength and middle-aged nurses with high ego strength. The findings highlight that managing ICT demands and fostering personal resources are critical for maintaining safety in digitalized workplaces. Age-specific interventions that enhance psychological resilience may buffer the adverse effects of digital stress. This research integrates cognitive-affective mechanisms into the JD–R framework and identifies a three-way boundary condition (ego strength × age), advancing understanding of leadership and resource management in technology-driven healthcare contexts.