Rethinking Monogamy: Negotiation, Consent, and the Redefinition of Fidelity in Contemporary France

• In Event: Sociology of Sexualities Section Roundtables
  In Refereed Roundtable (60 minute): Table 1: Sexuality, Dating, and Partnerships

Abstract

For centuries, monogamy has occupied a privileged position in Western societies, enforced by both the state and the Catholic Church through marriage laws and the promotion of a sexual morality based on chastity. With the decline of religious authority, the liberalization of marriage laws and the decrease of marriage rates, the couple underwent a profound transformation during the 20th century, shifting from an institutional definition to a more subjective view of the conjugal bond, centered on love. In France, this process of “deinstitutionalization” has been accompanied by a diversification of couple forms and increasingly complex affective trajectories, marked by breakups, reunions, and the development of sexual relationships outside the couple (e.g., hookups, friends with benefits), which do not necessarily involve sexual exclusivity.
This paper examines how these transformations have reshaped the monogamous norm. While recent scholarship in the sociology of sexualities has emphasized the growing visibility and legitimacy of non-monogamous couple arrangements, less attention has been paid to the transformation of monogamy itself. Drawing on several large-scale surveys conducted in France between 1972 and 2022, and adopting a socio-historical approach, I analyze changes in the meanings attached to “fidelity,” with particular attention to gender dynamics. Although the importance attributed to fidelity has paradoxically increased over the past four decades—especially among young adults (18–29)—its meaning has shifted significantly. Rather than referring narrowly to sexual exclusivity, fidelity is increasingly understood as loyalty to a negotiated relationship contract between partners, which may or may not include sexual exclusivity. Grounded in ideals of communication, intimacy, and reciprocity, this redefinition places consent at the center of contemporary understandings of monogamy.
By showing how monogamy is redefined through negotiation and consent rather than abandoned, this paper contributes to ongoing discussions on mononormativity by highlighting its transformation from within.

Author

• Malena Lapine