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Which place is made in abolitionist movements for prisoners’ relatives and friends? Are they really considered as political subjects in the struggles? How are their perspectives integrated in the fights that are carried out? The weakness of the discussion on these questions may come as a surprise in respect of the ordinary remark that the penal system is less about “crimes” than about targeting certain populations, in particular the poor and the racialized. The little attention given to prisoners’ relatives and friends in abolitionist movements reveal how they tend to focus on the inside (on prisons rather than on the penal system’ social costs). My paper is based on an assessment of my experience as a relative of prisoners and my participation in anti-prison and abolitionist struggles, mostly in France, for the last fifteen years. It both describes the sexual division of activist work in abolitionist movements and analyzes the constraints faced by prisoners’ relatives and friends in the said movements. I argue that abolitionist movements overlook the penal system’ specific impact on women when they do not include prisoners’ relatives and friends, since individuals who give personal support to incarcerated ones are overwhelmingly women.