Nolite Te Bastardes Carborundorum: The Trauma of Academic Bullying and Finding my Way Home

• In Event: Surviving and Thriving in Criminology

Abstract

Workplace harassment and bullying are serious problems to which academia has not been immune. Women, BIPOC and LGBTQ+ faculty are the most frequent targets, especially faculty without the protection of tenure. Interestingly, although not surprisingly, the typical perpetrator is a male, white, tenured, often associate professor. The bullying exerts an immense toll on the targets, leading to heightened anxiety, emotional distress and feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. In this talk I share my experiences with academic harassment and attempts by the bully to have me fired. I retell moments, when I sat alone in my closet thinking about taking my life and ending the pain, while my youngest child kept asking if I was sick. I focus on the wounds and feelings that no one cared enough to protect and support me. And how I came to terms with the fact that trauma lasts longer than sympathy and suggestions that I “let it go”, “move on”, “it’s over” only served to deepen my trauma. Finally, I share how I am battling my way back, with some good and bad days and how academia is not equipped to deal with bullying.

Author

• Maria João Lobo Antunes, Towson University