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Purpose: Previous literature has identified an association between borderline personality disorder (BPD) and intimate partner violence (IPV). However, most studies create a dichotomous image between the perpetrator and the victim. This distinction is more complicated since both parts of the relationship usually exercise violence. The present study examines IPV and BPD from a holistic standpoint that includes individuals without labeling them as victims or perpetrators to reach a more objective representation of the relationship between these two variables. Methods: Using the American subsample of The International Dating Violence Study (n= 4162), a logistic regression model was conducted to identify the most common patterns of behavior that stem from BPD and involved in IPV. Results: BPD made independent contributions to both IPV victimization and perpetration. The association between borderline features and IPV victimization was moderated by gender. When considering severe violence, gender moderated the relationship between borderline characteristics and IPV victimization and perpetration. Conclusion: Borderline personality disorder features should be considered in the assessment, prevention, and intervention of IPV and vice versa.