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This paper investigates the absence of a sexual revolution in socialist Romania and argues that instead, a private/public distinction on matters of gender and sexuality prevailed. The equal but not sexual woman komrade was, simultaneously: the heterosexual wife dedicated to the family and to her socialist work, the closeted queer who sometimes was outed but who could anyways not exist in society, the misfit with forgotten stories and no sexuality. The tabooisation of sex during communism was doubled by repressive and harsh legislation on abortion, erasure of non-normative sexualities from society, and even made heterosexual bodies and relationships non-sexual to some degree. This had echoes during the 90s, with a well-articulated and rampant patriarchate taking shape, along with a form of (hetero)sexual revolution mainly characterized by soft-porn printed newspapers, flourishing telephone sex-chat industry and short-lived queer porn outlets.