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Violent extremism is commonly defined as the act of violence against others to further an extremist cause. Terrorism and political violence are the forms of violence that readily come to mind when we discuss violent extremism. Yet, the emergence of the Black Pill ideology within Incel communities underscores the shortcomings of this understanding of violent extremism. The Black Pill starkly illustrates that extremism can inspire violence directed inward, including suicide. We trace the evolution of the literature on Black Pilled Incel communities with the aim of showing how this form of extremism subverts conventional understandings of violent extremism. From there, we propose a more comprehensive definition of violent extremism that takes into account the different forms of violence that it can encompass. This raises some theoretical implications regarding the study of extremism. Firstly, it encourages researchers to adopt a more nuanced outlook towards violence when studying any form of extremism. Secondly, it promotes research on violent extremism that transcends an exclusionary security discourse that further isolates vulnerable people from conventional society. In this sense, the project also brings some practical implications, as it recommends a psychosocial approach that could address the iatrogenic effects of the conventional security-focused approach to violent extremism. In a context where suicidality may escalate to violence against others (for example murder-suicide incidents), the comprehensive perspective on violent extremism that we propose can aid practitioners in more effectively engaging with their clientele.