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Stigma has been weaponised by politicians, leading to an increase in stigma politics (Tyler 2020:62), particularly in relation to asylum seekers, as evidenced in the proliferation of extreme immigration policy. Stigmatisation is a harmful process, resulting in the internalisation of ugly feelings such as guilt and shame (Addison, 2023). Drawing on Pemberton’s (2015:30) concept of ‘relational harm’, this paper draws from narrative interviews with mothers seeking asylum in the UK to show how the harmful conditions of the asylum system stigmatise and marginalise women, impacting on their relationships with their children.