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Child to parent violence has often been viewed as a gendered phenomenon, instigated my adolescent boys and harming their mothers. In this work, workshops and interviews with eight children and adolescents (aged 8-16), four boys and four girls, who were instigating child to parent violence took place. The focus of the workshops was to explore how the children and young people sought support for their harmful behaviours and how they understood the responses from those adults in authority around them. The data was analysed in a gendered way to understand the differences between seeking support for their harmful behaviours and how they made meaning of this based on their gender and gendered expectations. Girls often found higher levels of stigma, labelling, and generalised mistrust from authorities figures in their lives. Boys found higher rates of exclusion and segregation overall. How these different approaches from adults who were meant to be supporting children and young people, and how young people interpreted this support will be explored.