Linking Pronoun Use and Attachment Behaviors in Romantic Partner Conflict

• In Event: Attachment and Language Use in Adolescence: Integrating Research on Parent, Peer, and Romantic Partner Relationships

Abstract

Pronoun use in conversations between romantic partners has been linked to critical aspects of relationships and physical health (Karan, 2019). Research suggests that use of “we” talk may occur more in satisfied relationships, use if “you” talk may occur more in unsatisfied relationships, and use of “I” talk may be more context dependent (Williams-Baucom et al, 2013). However, less is understood about the conversational tactics pronoun use may be reflecting. The attachment literature posits that relationships that foster the autonomy of both partners while maintaining relatedness may be an important marker of attachment security(). Behaviors that interfere with these goals may thus foster insecure relationships, potentially utilizing pronouns in patterns known to be harmful. The current study hypothesized that 1) partner’s engaging in high levels of negative autonomy and relatedness (AR) behaviors would speak with more “you” talk and “I” talk and less “we” talk and 2) more “you” talk and less “we” talk would mediate the relationship between parent’s AR behaviors and relationship aggression perpetration. Understanding the behaviors pronoun use may be reflecting, as well as the precipitants of certain pronoun use, could provide clarity on the role of pronoun use in couples’ conflict and identify targets of intervention.

As part of a larger study, 94 ethnically diverse individuals were assessed at ages 13 (T1), between ages 20 and 22 (T2) and again between ages 23 and 25 (T3). Participants engaged in conversations with their parents about a shared disagreement during T1, and with their romantic partner during T2. These discussions were coded using the Autonomy and Relatedness (AR) Coding System (Allen et al., 2003). Participants also completed the romantic relational aggression and victimization scale (Morales & Crick, 1989) to measure dating aggression perpetration at T2 and T3.

We conducted separate actor-partner interdependence models for each pronoun (APIM; Kenny, 1996; Kenny & Cook, 1999). After testing for distinguishability, in all models, men and women were treated as indistinguishable. There was a significant actor negative effect of negative AR on we talk (b = -0.43, p < .05). There was also a significant positive actor effect of negative AR on you talk (b = 2.38, p < .01). Finally, there was a significant positive partner effect of negative AR on I talk (b = 1.34, p < .01). “You” talk also mediated the relationship between parent’s use of negative AR and both current and later psychological relationship aggression perpetration (CI 95% [.07, .10]; CI 95%[.12,1.95]), but “we” talk did not mediate either of these associations.

Results suggest that pronoun use may in some cases map on to attachment behaviors, providing a potential context in which this form of language manifests. Children may learn conflictual communication patterns by observing their parent’s attachment behaviors, and this maladaptive communication may promote current and later relationship aggression. Future research directions will be discussed.

Authors

• Corey Pettit, University of Virginia - Charlottesville
  Presenting Author

• Meghan A Costello, University of Virginia - Charlottesville
  Non-Presenting Author

• Jessica Kansky, University of Virginia - Charlottesville
  Non-Presenting Author

• Gabrielle Hunt, University of Virginia
  Non-Presenting Author

• Caroline K. Fowler, University of Virginia - Charlottesville
  Non-Presenting Author

• Audrey G Alexander, University of Virginia - Charlottesville
  Non-Presenting Author

• Joseph P Allen, University of Virginia - Charlottesville
  Non-Presenting Author