For If Dreams Die: An Autoethnographic Examination of Redeeming Purpose in the Academy

• In Event: 72.060 - Reaching Students Whose Dreams Won't Matter: Reflections From Educators of Black Children

Abstract

'You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one” –John Lennon
Recent studies indicate African American women have the highest graduation rates among American college students. However, less than 7% of doctoral degrees awarded across all disciplines are awarded to African Americans. For those who traverse this lone path, the fruition of purpose as it pertains to addressing the social and systemic conditions that perpetuate the “one of few” tradition that is the Black graduate experience, is a formidable feat. This auto-ethnography suggests reclaiming research as both a spiritual and intellectual pursuit as transformative strategy. Building upon Cynthia Dillard’s notion of an endarkened feminist epistemology, the author articulates how epistemic violence causes dreams of social justice to die in notebooks, laptops, and published manuscripts of African American intellectuals. Using her experiences of reconciling spirituality to research in the academy, the author posits strategy for African American academics and others among them for advancing social justice in higher education.
There is a rich tradition of “spiritual intellectualism” in the history of Black academics. From educational “prophets” like Dr. Anna Julia Cooper to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the pursuit of higher education as a pursuit of “higher purpose” is recurrent. One might characterize struggles to become formally educated as struggles for higher purpose among African Americans. My experiences inform me that higher purpose is often connected to the desire for social justice. For Black academics such aims, while admirable and often expected, create tension. Epistemic violence, which causes harm to the understanding of knowledge, makes these aims seem illogical. Seeking and producing social justice in traditional academe brings on a barrage of issues, particularly for African American women. The distinctive “coloring” social justice has on our work often causes our peers to question and devalue our presence and research (McDonald & Ford-Ahmed, 1999). Furthermore, power dynamics in academia privilege Western epistemologies, pushing Black feminist epistemologies to the margins. Patricia Hill Collins (2000) used critical theory to discuss how these dynamics affect Black women’s perspectives on what constitutes knowledge. She writes, "Like other subordinate groups, African American women not only have developed a distinctive Black women's standpoint, but have done so by using alternative ways of producing and validating knowledge"(Collins, 2000, p. 252). In a related perspective, bell hooks (1991) contends, “ It is the sexist/racist Western conception of who and what an intellectual is that rules out the possibility that Black women will come to mind as representatives of intellectual vocation” (p.153). Consequently, Black women often find themselves adopting and developing alternative methods for navigating academic terrain. Building upon this body of work, this paper takes the discussion on Black women in higher education into a deeper examination of spirituality as strategy. The author situates her African American and Christian lens as an entry point into an exploration of power within spirit-led research inquiries and use of spirituality as a tool for navigating academia.

Author

• Kyra Tynisha Shahid, Mount St. Mary's University