I Just Stood There: One Woman's Testimonio on Daily Microaggressions and Racial Battle Fatigue

• In Event: The Paradox of Balancing Well-Being in Predominantly White Informal Learning Spaces: Legitimizing Black/Brown Autoethnographies

Abstract

Purpose
Signing up for the nature-based writing retreat was a way for me to recharge my battery after a difficult semester. The nature-based retreat consisted of me enjoying the peace and quiet of nature, sitting outside staring at the mountains, and writing without the pressures of looming deadlines. But the reality was different. Being a Latina motherscholar, I am constantly bombarded with microaggressions (Pierce, Carew, Pierce-Gonzalez & Wills, 1997). The purpose of this paper is to demonstrate the constant microaggressions received by one Latina motherscholar that lead to racial battle fatigue (Smith, 2004). I decided to look at my own experience at the writing retreat experience, specifically the racist confrontation with the members of the Wreck Barn through the power of testimonios.

Perspectives
Testimonio is a conceptual and methodological tool that transforms personal narrative
into a type of resistance. Testimonio is a methodology that provides modes of analysis that are collaborative and attentive to myriad ways of knowing and learning in our communities. Testimonio is an approach that incorporates political, social, historical, and cultural histories that accompany one’s life experiences as a means to bring about change through consciousness-raising (Delgado Bernal, Burciaga & Flores Carmona, 2012). In this article, the author employs testimonio to document critical consequences of being part of informal learning spaces that are not meant for women of color and create opportunities for other members that are not part of the dominant culture.

Methods and Data Sources
This study engages testimonio methodology to unpack incidents of racial micro-aggression that took place during a writing retreat for faculty members. Moreover this testimonio offers insight towards how women of color in academia navigate constant attacks towards their presence in spaces that are built or structured to serve their needs. This interaction focuses primarily on racial battle fatigue and how being present physically was the only recourse for me.

Significance
This encounter demonstrates how racial microaggressions are a constant occurrence for individuals of color. This space that was meant for professional growth could not be divorced from issues of racism or racial microaggressions. In this situation, I discuss consequences of the racial battle fatigue as I seek to negotiate commitments such as being a parent, scholar, teacher, and community member.

References

Delgado Bernal, D., Burciaga, R. and Flores Carmona, J. (2012). Chicana/Latina Testimonios: Mapping the Methodological, Pedagogical, and Political, Equity &
Excellence in Education, 45, 363-372, DOI: 10.1080/10665684.2012.698149

Pierce, C. M., Carew, J.V., Pierce-Gonzalez, D. and Wills, D. (1997). An Experiment in Racism: TV Commercials. Education and Urban Society,10, 61–87.

Smith, W.A. (2004). Black Faculty Coping with Racial Battle Fatigue: The Campus Racial Climate in a Post-Civil Rights Era. In D. Cleveland (Ed.), In A Long Way to Go: Conversations about Race by African American Faculty and Graduate Students at Predominantly White Institutions, (pp.171–190). New York: Peter Lang.

Author

• Sandra Lucia Osorio, Illinois State University