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This self-study is written from the lens of a pre-service teacher. The self-study was prompted by discrepancies between the author, Y’s imagined identity and practical identity formation while teaching in a real classroom. In the study, I reported my experience and changing ideas during my first year of internship in a bilingual elementary classroom in the US. By using open-coding to analyze my 18 reflection journals, the findings indicate that (1) in online learning, a student’s home environment influences engagement in academic work, (2) there is a continuous dilemma of teaching language or content in the bilingual classroom, and 3) online teaching practices are different from what I learned in the teacher preparation program.