It’s a Match: On Competition in Markets for Sex and Dating

• In Event: Ambition and Competition

Abstract

In liberal societies, the right to choose one’s intimate partners is up to individuals, rather than families, the state or religious authorities. The resulting distribution of sexual or intimate attention will be uneven: some are more successful than others on the marriage market or in the ‘sexual sphere’ as in the realm of society where people engage in dating, relationships and sexual interactions. This is an area deeply bound up with our self-esteem, where we must be able to be vulnerable. The rise of the dating app has fueled a debate over the wrongness of this market of potential partners. The constant swiping and sorting of individuals seem to undermine not only our self-respect but also, potentially, the romantic relationship itself. Yet, whereas egalitarians are open to socialising goods such as healthcare, food and education, few want to eliminate competition in the sexual sphere, regardless of whether this would result in greater equality in intimate goods and social status. Freedom in the sexual sphere is too valuable, and the alternative too reprehensible. It seems, therefore, that the ‘sexual sphere’ must be a market in which there inevitably will be competition between potential partners. An important question, thus, is what kind of competition would be justified in the sexual sphere. I present an answer to this question that accommodates intuitions about the importance of choice, the harm in being unchosen, and the wrongness of seeing others primarily as exchangeable holders of certain wanted characteristics.

Author

• Elsa Kugelberg, University of Oxford