I Can't Change Her, but I Train Her: Power Negotiation between Taiwanese- and Mexican-American In-laws

• In Event: 054 - Section on the Sociology of the Family Roundtable Session (one-hour).
  In Refereed Roundtable: Table 15. Multigenerational Family Practices

Abstract

This paper qualitatively examines gender and generational power dynamics from the perspectives of 10 Taiwanese-American and 10 Mexican-American daughters-in-law. Drawing on resource theory as well as covert and overt family power dynamics, I explore the following questions: How do respondents experience power dynamics in their relationships with their mothers-in-law? What strategies of resistance or compliance do daughters-in-law engage in relations with their mother-in-law? Similarly, what strategies do mothers-in-law engage, according to the accounts of respondents? How do respondents’ husbands mediate or broker this relationship? Specifically, what strategies do some husbands enlist in trying to mediate or smooth out conflicts and tensions between the two women? Are they successful? Do some husbands take the side of either their mother or wife, and advocate on their behalf when conflicts or tensions emerge? How does such alliance affect mother, son, and daughter-in-law relations?
Emerging findings suggest childrearing is the most conflictual area for women and their mothers-in-law. Many women want to change their mother-in-law’s childcare methods. However, many, especially those who rely on their mother-in-law for childcare, feel they do not have the power to make such demands. Rather than arguing or openly disagreeing, several daughters-in-law engage in strategies to covertly make their mothers-in-law comply with their parenting methods, such as “training” their mothers-in-law. Spousal support emerges to be an important resource for women as some rely on their husband’s authority to negotiate with their mother-in-law.

Author

• Kristy Shih, Central Michigan University