Managing Without Moms: Gay Fathers’ Collective Responses to Heteronormative Assumptions in Everyday Life

• In Event: 090 - Regular Session. Parenthood

Abstract

Previous research has shown little empirical support for the notion that “children need both a mother and a father,” yet the idea that men and women differ in their parenting capacities continues to influence public opinion and policy in the United States. As men who occupy a unique position within family and gender normativity, gay fathers’ experiences expose how assumptions about gender and families have been institutionalized and internalized throughout society. Using over four years of participant observation with gay parenting groups and in-depth interviews with 50 gay fathers across 3 U.S. states, this study explores how assumptions about gender and family affect gay fathers’ everyday lives, as well as the management strategies that contribute to gay fathers’ resilience within mother-absent families. Results show that gay fathers often draw on dominant norms of family life while they simultaneously rebuild new understandings of gender and family. A concluding discussion of gay fathers who were previously married to women offers implications for policies that seek to enforce a universal heterosexual family model.

Author

• Megan Carroll, University of Southern California