Emotion Work in an Age of "Incomplete Acceptance:" How LGB People Maintain Relationships with their Parents

• In Event: 1480 - Section on Sociology of Sexualities Roundtable Session
  In Refereed Roundtable 60min: Table 03. Sexuality, Family, and Marriage

Abstract

The experiences of LGB people are contradictory. While more LGB people are “out,” many report a great deal of anxiety at disclosing their sexuality with parents. Similarly, though many parents report being accepting of their child’s sexuality, this acceptance is sometimes dependent on a child demonstrating commitment to heteronormativity. In this respect, LGB acceptance is “incomplete” (Seidman 2002). In the following paper, I use the concept of emotion work to show how LGB people maintain relationships with their parents in this context. Here, I discuss how LGB people use the strategies of “not talking/hiding sexuality” and “selectively sharing about sexuality” as ways to preserve relationships with their parents, and protect themselves and their parents from feelings of anger, embarrassment, and resentment. Ultimately, using these strategies as ways to maintain relationships with their parents is not without consequence, as some LGB people feel as though they are being dishonest to themselves and their parents. To deal with these feelings, some do what I refer to as “secondary emotion work” by emphasizing the importance they attach to their family's image, and the possibility of better relationships with their parents in the future.

Author

• Tyler Ross Flockhart, North Carolina State University